Saturday, December 31, 2011

Signatures

The size of one’s ego is directly correlated with the length of his E-mail signature.  I have sent and received countless E-mails with the who’s-who of the University during my time with The Cavalier Daily, but the signature of one particular student leader stretches an astounding 10 lines: (information has been changed, but the basic structure has been retained)  
Jack A. Stevens
Elected Leaders Council, Vice-President for Administration
College of Arts & Sciences, Political Philosophy, Policy & Social Thought major
McIntire School of Commerce, Leadership minor
University of Virginia 2011
 
Connect with me:
facebook.com/jstevens1
twitter.com/jackstevens
linkedin.com/in/jackstevens
 
First, there’s the pretentious middle initial. Its appearance here is more absurd if you know “Jack” takes every opportunity to flaunt his middle initial — even on handwritten name tags (why?). Then there’s the elitist second line to reaffirm his pride in the belief that he is an important somebody. Pretentious major, check. Useless minor? Check. School? Obvious and unnecessary. Oh, and Jack even offers three ways to stalk him: He entices you to add him on Facebook to artificially inflate his friend count; follow him on Twitter to clutter your tweet box with more than anyone would care to know about his daily musings; and encourages you to check out his online resume so someone can get him a job.
Better than a palm read, huh?
(Originally posted Feb. 5, 2010)

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