Sunday, March 25, 2012

Letter to a clockmaker

Below is a cheeky letter written in 1863 by Charles Dickens to Sir John Bennett, the watchmaker responsible for recently cleaning a clock of his. (Source:  A Week's Tramp in Dickens-Land, by William R Hughes):

Gad's Hill Place,
Higham by Rochester, Kent,
Monday night, Fourteenth September, 1863 My dear Sir,

Since my hall clock was sent to your establishment to be cleaned it has gone (as indeed it always has) perfectly well, but has struck the hours with great reluctance, and after enduring internal agonies of a most distressing nature, it has now ceased striking altogether. Though a happy release for the clock, this is not convenient to the household. If you can send down any confidential person with whom the clock can confer, I think it may have something on its works it would be glad to make a clean breast of, 

Faithfully yours, 


Tuesday, March 20, 2012

People worthy of being blocked from my Gchat list

  1. People who Gchat me to discuss their grievances about “xenophobia” or the “hero-worship complex” at the University. I’ve been a part of and observed the blatant follies of student politics since matriculation, so of course I’ve noticed it. Still, that does not mean I condone or am at all interested in discussing it at length. (This is not desirable via text message either, if you are the guilty person in question).
  2. People who send me pictures of ugly bunnies. (Katie Lee and Irene, you two have good taste in bunnies. This does not apply to you :)).
  3. People who are visible on Gchat for upwards of 18 hours a day, stalking his Gchat list for the moment I come online so he can Gchat me and talk endlessly about topics that I cannot even feign interest in. This hypothesis, once validated, is extremely creepy. Really.
  4. Red bears.

Monday, March 12, 2012

"Dear John"

My 18-year-old brother's ringing endorsement for Nicholas Sparks' Dear John:

Tony:   10:49 pm
    oh mang
    dat buk
    so gud
    could not put it downz
    we supposed to be reading twelfth night in english
    no screw that
    it's dear john time

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Things I do when I'm half asleep

Send emailsA real email exchange in which I requested a copy of the photo that Scott's co-editor, Thomas, had captured.
Jane: Yep, that's the one! Thanks a bunch, Mike :)

(2 hours later)

Jane: ... why did I call you Mike? I, of course, mean Scott. I don't even talk to anyone named Mike regularly.

Unrelated note:
I have a friend Mike who I always mistakenly call Paul. This is because he looks like a Paul and because I had an childhood friend named Paul with the same surname.

Answer the phone:
After faceplanting for a marathon afternoon nap last week following three exams (+ one take-home) during a 26-hour period, I held up my phone to my face and said, "Hello?" After hearing no response, I repeated myself in a slightly more irritated tone, "HELLO?" And then I went back to sleep after realizing I'd mistaken my mobile alarm for my ringtone.

Thursday, March 1, 2012


While my brother was talking to one of his former math teachers: