Spot me: Corporate Gym review

This piece appeared in my department's quarterly newsletter. I liked it enough to post it here, so enjoy :). Coworker name, city, and a few select details have been changed, but s'all the same apart from that.

PAFN Field Day 2009

With the urgency of a department newsletter article to produce, I laced up my sneakers and parked my biscuit on one of two treadmills at the Corporate Gym and hoped I would not be joined by anybody I recognize. I normally wouldn’t subject my acquaintances to the cruel misfortune of witnessing me sweating it out in workout attire, but I am willing to sacrifice some dignity for my fellow [people who work in my department]ers … By visiting the gym when I assumed most people had already left the office for the day.

I waited, of course, until the New Year’s resolutionists had lost most of their fervency before I paid a visit because I refuse to engage in the cumbersome acrobatics of changing in a narrow bathroom stall only to find both treadmills occupied, and so have nothing to do but lift weights for five minutes before I would inexorably succumb to boredom and drive home. (Alternatively, one could, of course, change in the more commodious bathroom stall if it is otherwise unoccupied, but I was not so lucky during my visit.)

Gym time is my one holy hour of solitude. I’m a member of [local gym] and go out of my way to steer clear of people I know at the gym because I prefer to exercise anonymously. For example, I avoid [local gym] location near by old high school in Falls Church – where teachers I recognize and snooty LBCers do yoga – whenever possible. Instead, I go to the location in my city of residence so I can workout happily among strangers. Bonus: No pressure to socialize (“My, what biceps you have!”), and I am familiar enough with the idiosyncrasies of the regulars to avoid the notoriously loud grunters, and obnoxious arm-flailers.

Creepin' on front-lawn wildlife

Just a normal ol' afternoon at my parents' house. Oh hey, what's that in the (winter-yellowed) grass?

Walking closer ...

A squirrel! Just laying out like it's his casa! Does he see me creepin'?

I stepped furtively a few steps forward, but immediately moved some steps back so as not to startle him or appear threatening. (Is this how squirrels sleep? Napping out in the open probably isn't the safest idea ...)

Then he ran away. Guess I looked too eager. But no worries! I saw this green-eyed fluffmonster a few minutes later:

But he, too, ran away when I tried to snap a closer photo. (Does he look familiar ;-) ? )

Meow

Conversation with my little brother:

Awkward work encounters (Part 1): Running into the same person several times in 1 day

Long office hallways are hot spots for awkward encounters. If you’re walking from one end of the hall to the other and spot someone you know at the other end walking toward you in the opposite direction, at what distance should you acknowledge/greet one another? For how long must you awkwardly stare at each other? Do you do that oh-I-didn’t-see-you-until-you-were-3-yards-away lie? Look down and away until you’re within 5 yards or so?

I by chance ran into the same person -- with whom I can almost always count on to have an awkward rencontre -- four times: the first two encounters within 5 minutes of each other in the morning, and the last two within 10 minutes in the afternoon. The fourth and last encounter that day was the most awkward. We’d both turned a corner at the same time at opposite ends of a short 10-yard-long hallway, and were headed toward the same turn -- the only available exit in the 10-yard distance. He did that ‘Uhhhhh-I’m-in-an-awkward-situation-and-wait,-am-I-still-staring?’ nail bite, and I, of course, resembled a lost deer in the headlights. Needless to say, there was no way to rescue the situation. And I stayed put at my desk the rest of the day.

A week or so later, we again found each other in a similar situation, but this time he had an ingenius solution: wave! Hardly anyone was in the office on this particular early, snowy morning, and I was walking from one wing of the building to the other -- where my seat is -- through yet another long corridor. And as I made the long trek over to my desk, I saw said employee walking from the opposite end of the otherwise-empty hall. From still far away, he recognized me and waved, and I waved back. Problem solved.

We’ve done the hallway wave multiple times since, although that is not to say awkward encounters have ceased altogether; for every normal run-in, there is -- without fail -- always an incredibly awkward one to follow. But that's OK because those situations remind me that even the most seemingly confident, put-together person can have those moments.

10 years

See that little guy on the right?

Brothers: Tony and Duncan having a moment

He would have turned 10 years old today.

I miss you immensely, little man.

Valentine's Day poem 3

Plight of a college boy looking for a special someone at a new school, by Tony Ma.

I swear every hot girl here is taken.

Either that or they’re impossible to get.

Most of the sorority girls are fakin’,

Drunk, a new guy every weekend I bet.

But no sir, not me, not ever.

Here, I will find real connection

With a girl who’s worth my endeavor

To meet and show her my affection

To win her heart fair and square--

Oh, you trying to steal my girl!?

Oh no you don’t, don’t you dare!

---

Brown hair, brown eyes, I like her.
Ain't no joke, I ain't fakin'
I meet her, I discover
Depressingly, she's taken.

Paperman

Oscar-nominated short film to start off the week of Valentine's Day :)