Birds on a line

From my newsfeed

Posted by my middle-school algebra teacher:

SOL days are insane, but I'm OK. Came home to find Bill's room filling up with water, 2 hours later, we're OK. Kate's [his wife] spending the night at her Mom, but it's okay. Note from our housekeeper left on our bed: "the cat bomit on your sheets. they are in drayer." I'm done

Order of the Ampersand turns 2!

Happy 2nd anniversary to Order of the Ampersand! I started this blog (originally hosted on Tumblr) two years ago for my friends and family to keep up with me as I spent 12 weeks in Charlottesville -- the longest I’d ever been away from home. At that point in my life, I was halfway through my college career -- by far the most formidable years of my life thus far -- and more than a little uncomfortable with my then-uncertain future, for various reasons, including a natural disinclination for change. Two years ago, the end U.Va and Charlottesville life felt uncomfortably close, even though that penultimate walk down the Lawn was still a ways away.

Now, I’ve graduated, moved back to Northern Virginia, and will begin working my first job in a few days. My blog will no longer be a chronicle of the latter half of my college career but rather offer a glimpse into my new life as a self-proclaimed yuppie in the D.C. area. Two years ago, I did not know where I’d be or what I’d be doing after graduation, but I’m pleased with what I’ve been presented with, and I cannot disdain the paths that have led me where I am now. I think I’ll like being a yuppie, and I hope you’ll enjoy reading about this new journey.

Elevation Burger

On a scale from Wendy's to Five Guys, Elevation Burger is somewhere in between. The menu let’s you build a burger with various run-of-the-mill toppings (e.g., ketchup, mustard, lettuce, mushrooms, onions), and some interesting sauces including balsamic mustard, hot-pepper relish, and elevation sauce (a sauce the color of thousand island, but with less tang and more mayo) from a base of a burger, cheeseburger, etc. -- similar to Five Guys. But the beef patty itself leaves something to be desired. The patty is smaller than I expected, and not as juicy as I’d like a made-to-order burger to be. This may be trivial to some, but I took issue with the greens: For premium burger joint, I expected something more than a cumbersome wave of iceberg lettuce. I was pleasantly surprised, however, to find that the cheese on my cheeseburger was cheddar, rather than American.

There are also two varieties of veggieburgers (one with a fire-roasted taste, and the other with a more “veggie” flavor)  for the non-meateaters out there, and a veggie-wrap alternative to a carb-laden bun if that interests you. And you can place your order online and pick it up in-store. But if you’re dining at the National Harbor location, like I did, you ought to eat outside and take in the waterfront view.

The real winners are the crispy, skin-on fries prepared in olive oil. I prefer the texture of these fries to the less-than-crispy ones at, say, Five Guys, but the latter’s cajun seasoning has Elevation Burger’s beat. Frying in olive oil, though it is a slightly healthier alternative, leaves no discernible difference in taste, if you were wondering.

I went to the National Harbor location, but there’s one opening in Tyson’s Corner. I don’t plan to come back purely because this is D.C. and there are plenty of superior burgers in town.

Draw Something

A taste of my Draw Something drawings:

Courtesy calls

Things I dislike about courtesy calls:
1. There is never a time when I feel compelled to listen to a stranger talk me into signing up for a credit card.
2. It often takes more than one hello and pause to get them to speak, or the person says, “Hello?” after I’d already said “Hello” first. This is one of my greatest pet peeves!
3. I’m not a huge fan of talking on the phone anyway. I’m more of an emailer or Gchatter. Does that make me sound impersonal? If it does, I should note that I really like writing handwritten cards and letters.

A recent phone conversation went like this:
Phone rings, see 1-866 number on caller ID and feel strong inclination to punt cordless phone out the window, but do not, of course, do so.
Me: Hello?
Caller:
Me: ARE YOU GOING TO ANSWER?
Caller: Hi, may I speak to Ms. --
Click.

My name is incredibly simple to pronounce, and I am offended by the ways in which some people mispronounce my last name. A call came in today asking for a “Mr. Meh” (said as in “Meh, I don’t really care what I order for lunch.”). Click.

How to get good customer service

Here are excerpts from my online chat conversations with a Verizon FiOS custumer support representative to fix our living-room TV:

Step 1: When asked to state your problem, resort to violence

Me: Our Verizon FiOS remote control has been aggravatingly stubborn during the past few months, and I suspect it is on its last leg before it will be subjected to a violent bludgeon if it doesn't get its act together soon.

A Verizon Service Representative will be with you shortly. Thank you.

(An online representative responded within a minute. Excellent service)

Step 2: Use humor

Verizon: Well, you will get a new remote within one business day. Are all your other FiOS services working fine to the best of your satisfaction?

Me: Thank you very much! Well, the TVs with FiOS have some bad days. Sometimes it says there are no recordings. And it continues to feign ignorance even after we turn off an on the TV.

Step 3: Do everything they ask you to do and, most important, be polite

Verizon: I truly appreciate your patience and efforts in following the troubleshooting steps in such a wonderful way! I really wish all my customers are like you. I can grade you 10/10 for being so nice and patient.

Yes, the Verizon FiOS representative really said that to me. I have the screenshot to prove it.

National Harbor